Going Troppo

In every foreign country there are a serious number of semi-permanent residents who have gone "troppo". It might be assumed that this word originates from the word tropical, so somebody who has gone "troppo" has basically gone to stay in a tropical place. Left the city and the desk for a hotter climates and better things, in fact they would say "I have seen the light".

The favourite destinations are countries like Thailand or the Philippines, but thousands of other places have their very own share of weirdoes from Ecuador to Mongolia, Madagascar to Egypt. The countries that these lost souls leave behind are those established and boring nations like Britain and Germany, Canada and Australia although an extremely weird looking Eskimo with long hair and smoking dope was seen sloping around Brisbane with an Ausy blond chick on the back of his Harley Davidson!

Initially these semi-permanent disorders went abroad on holiday and found themselves - or think they have. Once upon a time after saving up some cash from their dead-boring jobs they ended up in some seedy holiday resort in the Canaries, in Pukhet or Acapulco and after getting drunk on cheap plonk and high on joints they began to see something resembling a light at the end of the tunnel. All of a sudden woman flocked to them, pissed as they were beautiful girls hung on their arms and laughed excitedly at any single blurb they uttered. Beer flowed cheaply and the locals catered to their every wish! This was heaven and all possible dreams wrapped up into a lovely package and oh so very cheap!

The thought of returning home just didn't appeal, back to that desk, the endless office bickering and to the boss from hell! Nope, that on one hand and paradise on the other. So either by returning home to empty out the bank account, to sell the house or tear up the check to the tax-man or just by simply tearing up the return tickets decisions were made and before they knew it they had become "troppos".

There is though more to becoming a true troppo than simply deciding to turn a holiday into an endless tour of drunken debauchery. Troppos tend to do far more than simply co-exist with the locals and other holiday makers who are just enjoying their two week vacation. They very quickly become dirty and unwashed. The devil in their brains wins over and before they know it they are walking along streets without shoes on, entering shopping malls in shorts that are more akin to underwear and wearing flip-flops that a British Tramp would decline to wear. Their hair suddenly grows to unmanageable lengths, soon to be tied back with an elastic band or threaded with beads; unwashed and straggly and either a baseball cap or a dirty rag adorns the head like a symbol of independence!

In India they soon start to wear saris, in Hawaii the grass skirt! In Fiji they all drink Kava and coconut toddy in Tuvalu! Troppos simply become more native than the natives!

To differentiate immediately between a troppo and a tourist a few items are immediately noticeable! The beautiful girl, a moped and the fact that everywhere he goes he seems to know everybody is a dead give-a-way! He talks the lingo, or seems to! He doesn't wear a helmet on his moped and nor does the bimbo on the back! He is permanently inebriated or high on smack! He talks loudly and tends to mix with an equally straggly group of characters who in actual fact all look exactly like each other!

In some ways this lifestyle that they have taken up is a rebellion against the civilised outside world! They will say why not! Naturally there are many excellent reasons why anybody would choose to live abroad, the weather for one, cheapness for another but there is no earthly reason why anybody should loose there self respect. Many troppos exist in their hovels illegally! Should they ever want to leave their new country the immigration officials would have a few words to say about the abuse to their kindly issued two week visa! Some semi-permanent residents do take further steps by travelling abroad every month or three for the pure purpose of being re-issued another visa and they do this indefinitely!

Troppos enter this strange middle ground where they fall well below civilised standards of hygiene and morals. They soon find it hard to locate a clean pair of trousers and suddenly find it quite acceptable to travel on long haul international flights with a pair of look-a-like boxer shorts on, a floppy pair of flip flops and a t-shirt that reads "I'm high on life".

In short they soon enter a middle ground, never quite accepted and only just tolerated by the locals who see them as a novelty and unable to return home to the desk job and the suits! Even the bimbos soon disappear to find greener grass, all they saw was a ticket out of their country or cash registers clicking but troppos soon run out of hard cash!

It is these very same troppos who get caught trying to smuggle drugs to finance their continued stay, who buy shares in bars only to find their share vanishing as the local laughingly cheats him and who gets married only to find out that the newly wed wife has run away with the remaining cash and her old boyfriend!

Certainly move abroad! Quite rightly fall-in-love and marry and have children and live a happy life. But the trick is to carry on living, to retain some of the characteristics of the life back home. Get a job not a scam, live in a house not in a tepee! Don't drink until under the table every night and don't assume that the very essence to living abroad is summed up between the rolled paper of a joint! Keep those smart trousers in the closet and buy a pair of shoes, wear a helmet on the moped and don't for one minute assume that the first girl that giggles hysterically at anything you say has just fallen head over heels in love!