New Ships

Dreams of polishing brass and putting the feet up in a superbly furnished and cool control room were sadly demolished with an hour of joining this fine vessel. Images of solid metal and all singing and dancing new machinery and systems had been the image conjured up when the company phoned me to give me my new assignment.

In the days before joining I bought loads of new CD's, cleansed my laptop of rubbish in preparation for all the writing that I would do in my time off and went shopping for an extra pair of shorts and a few T-shirts for all the sunbathing that I envisaged. I also emailed friends and talked about the easy life that I would have for the next three months in comparison to the twenty five year old candidates for razor blades that I had been working on for the last five years.

I packed my bags and set off to this unchallenging yet ideal job.

This new vessel recently built and completed in Korea looked the business when I pulled up in the taxi at the dock where it was berthed. Brightly painted and proud it stood out amongst the remnants of days gone by, that still manage to ply their trades against all odds. Brand spanking new and still my dreams were with me.

Door handles are my favorite gripe and annoyance. The Koreans are undoubtedly a massive maritime nation with decades of shipbuilding experience under their belts. They have proved themselves by numbers, having built many of the ships on the high seas today - be they small, little or large, mice or elephants, dumpy or sleek. They build them fast, they build them cheaper than other nations and the ships that come off the production line do not tend to sink at the first opportunity. Somewhere though a cultural block has entered the yards, maybe due to a collapsing economy, a shortage of skilled labor or it might have always been there.

The average worker in a Korean yard works hard. He has to put in a good days work to complete his assignment otherwise he might lose face, not get paid or not be offered a similar contract in the future. Take the joiner for example whose job it is to fit door handles. The ship is being fitted out at the lay-by-berth and the previous joiner has fitted the doors, after the one before that has installed the frames. Now along comes the current joiner whose duty it is to fit suitable door handles to approximately 89 doors that can be found in the accommodation block. In the cultural workplace that exists this joiner puts in his bid for the work and he was chosen simply because he gave a good price and guaranteed to fit these 89 door handles in such and such a time. A time that was less than the other bids or a price that was less or both - we know not which.

89 door handles must be fitted in X amount of time and despite any obstacle that may be placed in his path Mr. Wok (An imaginary name for the purpose of character reference) is going to fit them in the stated time.

So there it is in a nutshell. The basis for all future problems and the cause behind my current and antagonistic approach to doors, on this fine, straight off-the-shelf vessel! 89 door handles, of which twenty I may use ten times a day, thirty handles that I may use nine times a day and the others that I may or may not use as the situation arises - but still allot of handles to operate. Mr. Wok has in all true faith fulfilled his end of the bargain by suitably installing all the 89 handles that he was assigned to do. What he has failed to do is ensure that these handles work properly, are secured properly or even aligned to the catch on the frame. That was not in his agreement.

Of course, now that Mr. Wok has fitted the handles, he is paid and he has not lost face. If say a handle should fall off a couple of days later then he will gladly come back and refit it or put in the screws that he should have fitted before. But should say the fine vessel sail from the yard on its maiden voyage, probably never returning to Korean soil then Mr. Wok will never hear of or see the ship again - he is now probably fitting two thousand debatable door handles to a brand new cruise ship in record time.

I sit here at my laptop surrounded by bits of handles, locks and bent screwdrivers, chisels, drill bits and hammers as a tribute to my efforts and frustrations and Mr. Wok's rapid efforts. And there is not much that I can do about it except try not to hit my head on the door when once again I find that I cannot open it as the handle is in my hand and not fixed to the door as it should be.

It is with no disrespect to Korean efficiency and working practices that I say the above or what may appear below - but it is a frustrating time for me.

Dreams of polishing brass evaporated on my first tour of the engine room. For some reason a lack of brass existed and anything that resembled a metal had been lavishly painted in white, blue or grey. Dreams of sunbathing was a stupid idea anyway as Singapore, Malaysia or Indonesia (were the vessel was assigned to work) is too hot for that sort of thing. Playing one of my recently purchased CD's was a possibility but I soon found out that competition existed between officers on who could play theirs the loudest. Bulkheads on modern vessels are thinner and less soundproof compared to those vessels of yesteryear and so although I found a nicely installed CD player in my cabin, resplendent with speakers fitted to the Deckhead I opted out of the volume race. (The Captain is currently playing country and western whilst the Third Engineer is whistling along to Pink Floyd).

New vessels are probably worse to join than a vessel that has been sailing for many a year. Ships that have been around and about have had any inherent problem already ironed out, faults from the yard sorted out and faulty machinery fixed or replaced. New vessels though may look good and come with a complete coat of paint but nothing has been tried or tested. Have the yard painted underneath pipes, not only were one can see, did they leave a couple of gloves in a fuel tank or is the fuel transfer pump really working under proper loading conditions. Maybe the ballast pump has been wired up the wrong way or do the piping diagrams bear any resemblance to reality. Are all non-return valves fitted the correct way, have the 24volt navigation lights been accidentally wired up to a 220v power source and dare it be said, have they finished all the welding of beams to frames and bolted all machinery to bedplates?

On joining I was immediately informed that 146 defects where currently outstanding. In basic form 150 things where immediately wrong with the boat that could be blamed on the yard and thus to their account. This did not include routine jobs, malfunction due to human error (a nice way of putting it) or operations problems. Some of these defects were little things like faulty switches or door handles falling off (one defect was made for all the door handles, so ideas of 147 defects on door handles can be swept aside) but many were more serious.

A recent defect above and beyond the 147 of above was when the Hydraulic Oil Storage tank was noticed to be filling up all of its own accord. Investigation showed us the cause of this unusual happening, a sounding pipe (to a Fuel Tank) that passed through this Oil Tank had a perfect ten millimeter hole drilled through it. This was obviously the first time that this fuel oil tank had been filled - ever. So with a few ton of contaminated Hydraulic Oil, a few scratchings of the heads as to why a hole should be drilled though a sounding pipe, and after the services of a welder we managed to get back to normal.

Another defect, which might be number 163 or more, is the fact that no air driers/filters have been fitted on any of the pneumatic systems. Ships have been built for years and all have air driers/filters so why this one should be any different is any bodies guess. Another would be the lifting device for the SW filter lid - too low to be of any use.

And it continues! Pipes that go where they should not, pipes that are not even fitted, valves that are mysteriously just not there and blank's that don't do anything. Switches that turn on a fire pump when the fuel pump is needed', cabins that receive telephone calls when nobody has called and mysterious alarms that warn about nothing yet blink and honk with hysterical urgency. It was also found that the number two generator liked to listen to the radio whilst stopped, maybe radio one or the BBC world service - the heater had been wired up using antenna cable.

Two years and she will be a lovely vessel. Two years and all of these faults and annoyances will have been passed by and forgotten about and the vessel will be a grand one to work on. Soon she will be a dreamboat that is ready to sail into the future with a full career to enjoy and fulfill. Soon that will be, but at present I must attempt to make this defect list shorter whilst keeping my fingers crossed that another unexpected situation does not arise to be added to an already lengthy list.

Ieuan Dolby
Author and Webmaster of Seamania

Copyright © Ieuan Dolby, Nov. 2003