The Last Word

I am leaving the ship tomorrow or so they say and this is my last chance to put some wisdom onto paper. Well, that was the intention but as soon as I sat down at the computer I found that my mind was as blank as a newly scrubbed blackboard.

It was my intention to pull out all the finer details of the last 83days onboard whilst they are fresh in my mind but that is just not going to happen. Any vague threads of a subject or point of interest are immediately lost or unsuitable as soon as my finger points towards a key on the pad. This maybe due in-part to the fact that we are currently on a totally brain dead job, steaming in circles at 1knot around an FPSO (floating, Production, Storage and Offloading Vessel) that is having trouble keeping on location! Not that I will bore you with the finer technical details of the job but just imagine that your washing machine stop switch won't click in and that you are sitting watching it go round and round. It goes one way and just when it looks as if it might get up to speed and provide some interest it stops and goes the other way. And that is what we have been doing for nearly ten days - waiting for the weather to calm down so that the FPSO can hook up.

Brain dead work!

I suppose the brief forays down the engine room for inspiration, from 8 0'clcok to 5pm broke up an otherwise boring existence but even there with the engines running and all systems poised to work there is no sense of urgency or demand for highly skilled engineers. Welding up a bracket to hold a suction hose does not require an IQ above 10 nor does it stimulate the mind, break the sweat out or cause periods of mass head scratching and panic. Should more hair-raising situations and periods of deep solution finding have occurred the 'washing machine' syndrome would not have kicked in. But suffice it to say that during these twelve days not one item of machinery broke down and not one alarm sounded to herald the dawn of a new era. The highlight of these last few days revolved around the cleaning of a tap filter in the galley, that involved two brains and much deliberation to fix (extending a job out for the lack of anything else to do). We also conducted the testing of various alarms, from which it was hoped that a problem could be found - but this period of activity in fact only increased the irritability of others on the vessel with the constant ringing of bells in their ears.

To push me down into my misery the weather has not been exactly calm or steady and the vessel has been rolling and pitching constantly. Sleep has been disturbed with the head one minute banging the bulkhead and the next the toes giving pain as they get squashed between the cupboard and the rest of the legs. It has not been bad enough to wear a life-jacket whilst sleeping; I have never got that far yet, but just bad enough to be annoying.

As the ship is really new it has not yet been "de-creaked". This process takes time and involves the wedging of various beer mats, coins, nails and folded up college notes between panels on bulkheads, deckheads, doors and drawers to stop the annoying creaks and scratches as the boat rocks and rolls its way around the oceans. I myself did not have the heart to ruin a nice decor by fitting such devices and so suffered and thus accepted for the most part these noises all through the night.

The cook has been a treat though. Before we started this latest job the Captain asked for a cook with good experience. One cook left the ship and the other joined and up the gangway walked an eighteen-year old boy from India. But surprisingly whatever he lacked in experience he made up with in energy and experiment. So that was a pleasant surprise, and I can honestly say that the moments of frustrating boredom where definitely broken when it came to meal times.

I must admit that it has not been a bad trip. Six weeks of it have been laid up alongside in Singapore, which is easy and fun. Easy to get ashore, plenty of beer to drink and a life to live! Not all that good for the bank account but such is life and I am sure that I deserved the good times in preparation for the last few days.

My relief is arriving tomorrow and I am starting to perk up a bit. I have new things to do: bags to pack: a cabin to clean: handover notes to write and a future to look forwards to. Oh, and I must do some washing before I go, not fair on the wife otherwise.

That is another problem that has plagued us all throughout this trip. Two large industrial sized machines are onboard and if they are not leaking, they are self-combusting, if they are not doing that then they are have forgotten how to stop. It would certainly add insult to injury should I now find myself staring at a washing machine that is just going round and round and round on a never ending journey.