Annoyances

In every occupation possible there is a fare share of very annoying people who either through default or on purpose rub-up others the wrong way. The guy that always leaves his empty coffee cup lying around for others to collect after him or the lady who insists on clipping her finger nails (or worse her toe nails) when all others are trying to think are typical annoyances to others.

At sea annoying people exists in a larger and more dominant way, not only because others have to work with them but also because they have to live with them. They are at work and at home. Another factor that may increase the annoyance factor may result from the many different cultures and backgrounds that exist on vessels. From all four corners of the globe people go to sea and on most ships today a minimum of two cultures will exist with anything up to ten or more trying to live in harmony. Even within their own borders differences are apparent, a Scotsman to an Englishman, a Texan to a New Yorker or a Bavarian to a Hamburger (sorry!).

In a university setting a similarity (a thin threaded one) does exist with cross culture attempting to live in unison, for example in a halls' of residence where foreign students co-exist for a year or two on end. But here the escape factor is always available. Should one student decide to hog the bathroom every morning or another to have extra potent body odor that invades others privacy then a good fight, argument or a drinking session will soon relieve the tension. Or in extreme circumstances the annoyed or 'annoyee' can always move on to annoy others or to be annoyed in other surroundings.

At sea the option to move on at will is not given. No light at the end of the tunnel is available to those at sea apart from the day that the contract is up, may it be three months, six weeks or ten months from the day of joining. Those at sea are there to earn money, they work and they relax in a steel can that plies a trade somewhere in the world. Those at sea are stuck together for better or for worse until they day they start the journey home.

TOLERANCE

Most seafarers have built up massive tolerance to others quirks and habits. A necessity to make life bearable and livable whilst onboard! A tolerance that has been learnt the hard way and through no other option being available. Junior ranks especially have to build up a tolerance to get by when faced with their senior's weird sense of humor. The third engineer who thinks his practical jokes are funny and appreciated by all are in-short extremely frustrating to the fourths and cadets who are at the sharp end. When they once again find their safety boots filled with grease or their boiler suit trouser legs tied together the initial reaction is to go totally berserk and to smash a handy four-by-four piece of wood against the smirk on the face of the Third Engineer. But that is not practical and so KK tolerance wins the day.

When faced with the top four (the Master, Chief Engineer, Second Engineer and the Mate) tolerance takes on new meaning. The practical joker would not dare play his tricks up the ranks so the top four are safe on that score, but the ability to become, through power play, the 'annoyer' is prevalent. The Captain who insists on full dress uniform for all meals and who does not allow Engineers to eat in the duty mess is perhaps an ongoing and extreme case of 'how to be annoying'. The Chief Engineer who points out pointless mistakes in the log book to an apprehensive fourth, just for lack of anything else to do or through lack of knowledge is a cause for worry. The mate who won't buy his fare share of beers in the bar or the Second Engineer who locks all the store cupboards and never leaves the key is cause for upset.

The tolerance built up against these every-day and repetitive annoyances can easily be broken. A problem back home, stress or tiredness may be the cause of this breakdown in acceptance or it maybe simply that the tolerance was never very high to start with. A mate may very suddenly find that he can no longer accept, after three months of having done so, the fact that the second mate is always five minutes late for watch. And this may have been sparked by something totally remote, for example the fact that the mate has been asked to do an extra three weeks over his time. The Second Engineer may suddenly lose control and scream at the Third Engineer for not topping up a certain tank. The third engineer for the last month has never topped up the tank at the required time and in itself it is not a problem and has not been mentioned between them before. But suddenly it has become a voluble issue between them maybe because he had recently had an argument with the Chief or maybe because his wife had run away with another man.

Tolerance plays a high part in accepting annoyances throughout all walks of life. There are though some habits or 'things' that others do that are not easily acceptable to others in any shape or form. As a junior officer or crewmember these are easily ironed out by those senior to them, but the seniors themselves pose a problem for all others. They are the law, judgement and authority above all else on a ship and should the Chief Engineer have highly potent socks that do not intermingle well with other diners there is only the Captain left to tell him of the error in his ways. Should the Chief Engineer take heed then the annoyance has been removed but it is quite likely that he will do nothing - simply out of perversity or because he has no sense of smell.

The Captain who has musters and drills at all hours and without warning is annoying and nothing on this planet, apart from his early retirement, is going to stop this. The Second Engineer who repeats himself endlessly or the mate who never talks is very annoying but no man can force another to talk or not as the case maybe.

SLOW TORTURE

When joining a vessel it maybe that certain members of a crew will have sailed with others before or maybe the crew being met are all new. During the first few days onboard annoyances are minimal as a steep learning curve is navigated. This may last one, two or three weeks depending on the person, the rank and their ability to fit in with others easily.

After this period the relaxation period is entered as others accept the new members into the fold. They settle in, get used to the life and ways around them and this is the time when annoyances are noted. Initially it will start as a friendly conversation amongst conspirators in the bar of an evening, "the third mate never stops coughing", or "the Chief Mate's whistling is so out of tune". It starts as a small observation by as-yet non-annoyed co-workers, a sighting that has the future potential to grow into an insufferable annoyance that no amount of inbuilt tolerance will subdue.

As time goes on and the trip drags, (maybe other problems exist), these small and previously acceptable quirks of others turn into a buzzing at the back of the brain. The tongue clicking of the second engineer that was before a laughable matter in the bar (when he was not present) now becomes a reason to walk away or to cut a long story short. The cook who never leaves any food out was before questionable but is now becoming good reason to break the lock on the fridge door and to empty it of all inside.

These urges are though pushed back due to a sensible notion that it would not bode well for anybody onboard. To confront those with strange vocal habits and to suggest that they stop doing what they are probably unaware of would only give rise to conflict. The accused would feel slighted and might in turn build up a barrier on future contact, argue volubly and aggressively or just laugh and tell this fool to "****" off. In short it is never acceptable to confront another person with their failures; although sometimes necessary it is not an easy task to do on a ship and especially not up the ranks. Down the way it is easier, harder going up. Not impossible but hard and the approach must be carefully timed and thought out.

The urges to confront, change, remove or obliterate annoyances are usually stifled and battened down with strong chain, they are weighted and sunk in thousand meter seas, they are encased in concrete, lined with lead and sent to the moon and they are meant to stay there forever.

The trip goes on and the stress builds up, the lack of good sleep and the rough weather all combine to reduce the tolerance that one has. The workload is too much and the trip too long, the wife has left for another and the baby is due soon, the family is acting weird and not saying why and the bank manager has refused an extension on the loan. It could be anything that triggers the sudden crash landing of the orbiting strong box at your feet, the surprise snapping of the chains or the inexplicable buoyancy of a ten tone steel container that had been sent to Davy Jones Locker.

It could be anything that triggers the urgency to act upon annoyances and to rid them once and for all. For another month these annoyances could be dampened and partially acceptable but for some external or internal reason they are no longer so. And it is paramount that they are once and for-all removed. Some seafarers confront their superiors, peers, juniors and they will accept the brunt of the accused in return. They will stand up and confront simply because they can no longer live with the annoyance and anything would be in preference to it. Other seafarers might turn the other way, to become serious recluses who hide away in their cabins, who eat at odd times to avoid the rush and who build a massive personal brick-wall around them with security locks all the way.

In both cases it does nothing for moral or ease of living for all onboard. In both cases tension, aggression or misunderstanding at the very least results and in the long run will only lead to further annoyances. The man who has been faced with his problem will in turn feel slighted. The man who becomes a recluse has in his own way created an annoyance for others.

THE ANSWER TO ANNOYANCE ACCEPTANCE

Tolerance is the key to harmony, and to accepting the fact that whichever path one follows, annoyances will be there in some shape or form. It is not suitable to turn to alcohol to wipe away and to demolish the mind nagging, persevering and painful annoyances in life, nor is it really suitable to becoming a recluse. The idea of using physical force to put down and shut-up the antagonist may paint a pretty picture but it is so unpractical and ill thought out as to be laughable.

The actual annoyance can be looked at in two ways. Firstly: is the annoyance only resulting in one victim or is the whole crew suffering from it. Secondly: Is the annoyance becoming too much simply because of additional external/internal factors.

If a whole crew is suffering from an annoyance then it becomes a problem shared is a problem halved. And simply through a clever and thought out approach it should be possible to eliminate or perhaps reduce the problem to an acceptable level. If in rare cases it is not possible to reduce or wipe out the annoyance at least there are others in the same boat to share and to laugh with about it.

In the second situation, were the annoyance is solely on your doorstep, were it does not affect anyone else at all then look inwards. Choices are available. If it is because of other extraneous circumstances, that this current annoyance has boiled over or has become unmanageable, then you need to find someone to talk with about it. To get what is bottled up off your chest, to relieve the high-pressure steam from the boiler, to vent off the gas before it explodes. Not through slapping the cadet around the engine room but by talking it out with a peer or senior - having first sworn them to secrecy whilst appreciating the fact that all will know by the morning.

Under no circumstances, in this modern day and age should any annoyance become unbearable or unmanageable. If it is then it would suggest that a resignation letter should be sent in, that a request for an immediate transfer should be sent out or that a trip down the gangway and away should be undertaken.

A good night ashore, with plenty of wine, woman and song does of course considerably increase in-built tolerance. So it would therefore be suitable to suggest (naturally abiding by company policies and etc) that a stiff drinking session is in order. And of course doing this without becoming a serious alcoholic!

Should none of the above work or be acceptable in the circumstances and should there still be no means to reduce the pounding in the head then I would strongly suggest that some form of meditation or the filling out of an application form to become a silent monk might be in order.