Marriage in Action

Four essays, articles, (splurges of a married man), call them what you may, on marriage, its possible spiral down the plug hole and what it takes to make it work in the long run! These are my very own personal views, divorced couples and marriage guidance councilors may have extreme objections to my words and views - write your own articles then!

History has satisfactorily logged that most marriages are doomed to failure, either in the divorce courts or through tolerated existence, hating every sight and sound of the one who once made their heart beat like an egg whisk. Many of these failures revolve around misunderstandings and on the fact that humans in trouble tend to overdose on self-centredness! Sadly this is all to common and instead of sitting down over a hot cocoa (coffee, tea or other beverage) to discuss what is wrong and planning ways to improve the situation husbands and wives resort to the easy options of blame and attack! This aint gonna make things better!

In explanation of the articles listed here; Most newly wed couples start off happily in life and the romance frothes over for a few weeks, months or years, I call this the Grace or Exchange Period. The duration of the good times varies greatly but it will always come to an end (whether it be a screaching halt or a slow slide down a long slippery slope) to be replaced by what I refer to as the period of sustainability. During this period of the marriage and to maintain a modicum of 'togetherness' it is important for both parties to continue talking to each other instead of resorting to rude hand gestures and the pulling of tongues! If the ability to communicate has not been forever lost a new and more positive period of the marriage is then entered into, that of friendship. It is this period that will give more and will last the longest of any period. Finally, the trust factor! Should any marriage not have trust between parties the friendship level will be all but impossible to attain and the marriage will inevitably be doomed to failure.

For couples experiencing negative vibes in their marriage, I would strongly suggest that talking to each other might help, a couple of pleasantries and a nice comment or two will do wonders. Try it, don't be shy. It is after all necessary to show your partner that they are after all more than just a blip on the horizon and that they have not been relegated to a mere figment of the imagination. A nice word or two would be one step forward, instead of two steps back, and through understanding and giving ground to each other an established friendship built on trust might well be established.

Marriage is without doubt one of the hardest jobs anybody will ever have to do - and the work never stops. But with some hard graft and frequent and hefty shows of tolerance and partial understanding a friendship can be won, a bond will be formed that is unbreakable! There is no better life support machine than a partner when all hell breaks loose. When a shoulder is sought and silent understanding is required a partner born of marriage can provide more than any casual friend or work mate will ever be able to. A perfect couple makes bonds stronger than steel, UHU glue and araldite. No putty, silicon or nylon cord is stretchier, more elastic or durable than the knot formed by marriage and no stone or rock carries more weight and solidness than that given freely by years of love.

Some of the time anyway!