Battle of the Sales

I was last in Singapore three months ago and then there had been some amazing Sales and Bargains at various shops.

Now, three months later, the same shops have the same sales on; it was as if I had never left. Three months ago I had battled my way through those shops to buy household goods, clothes, bed linen at basement prices knowing that this was a once in a life time opportunity to get them cheaply. I battled and fought hard to grab the last on offer, shoved through the masses to be noticed and sneaked around and under to speed things up so that I could move onto the next. That had been my lone fight for all that I needed, knowing then that I would never have this amazing opportunity again! Sales like that don't come very often and usually not at all!

Yet here I was three months later and the same shops had the same sales in progress as if nothing had ever changed! It could have even been the same people battling and shoving to be first in when the doors opened. It could have been the same old ladies whose elbows jabbed in rhythm as they plowed lines to some hot bargains, and it could have been the same men shuffling in the background whilst their wives fought through piles of underwear - three pieces for $5.00 (no trying on though - no time for that anyway).

Sales are amazing in Singapore and through this return I have realized that they are ongoing and always present. A part of life that exists in continuation, one that makes Singapore a cheaper country to live in than I previously thought. I would run away if I went and lived by the full price that is set by the shop: I would be a cloud of dust on the horizon. But the price tags are only for show and for the rich and stupid it seems, normal people just wait for the sales (always only a day away or a week at the most) to come and buy the same product at half the price or less!

John Littles Department Store
Photo Copyright © Ieuan Dolby, 2006

John Little's (one of the most famous of Department Stores in Singapore) had a "Last Day of Sale" sign up the last time I was here. It also had "Last Day of Sale" signs everywhere this time I arrived. I am not sure if this means that I was very lucky both times or more probably that a New Sale starts every morning!

Red Hot Deals on Orchard Road
Photo Copyright © Ieuan Dolby, 2006

I passed John Little's at 10am and the crowds were gathering then. This particular department store does not open until eleven and the growing crowd of desperadoes were clinging on to the railing as if their lives depended on it. I stood at a little distance watching the madness and desperation of the bargain hunters, trying to work out if this was really the last day of the Sales, if this was really a one off opportunity to gain some real purchases at basement bargain prices. Or was this just another plain old day at John Littles?

At Eleven am precisely the door opened and with a gush of wind the crowd that had been dangling precariously over the kerb fell into the Store. I tagged along (after five minutes) allowing the mad and desperate to get in first should they damage me in their eagerness! By the time that I arrived inside of the store they had all disappeared, and I felt upset that I had missed the opportunity. Where had this group gone? I walked through and around the two floors of Ladies clothes, up and through the one floor of men's apparel and all the time the place was deserted, not a soul in site except for a couple of bored assistants polishing their nails.

Then as I placed my first foot onto the escalator heading for the fourth floor I heard the hum of life. As I was carried upwards the noise increased to provoke an image of a crowd at a World Cup Football match and as I reached the top I could see where the bargain hunters had aimed for - the Kitchen Goods! I stepped off the escalator into a frightening and awesome spectacle. A mass of bodies pushing and shoving; all intent on a large basket. People screaming and shouting at anyone and everything, mothers flaring up in anger as a high heel shoe landed where it should not, children crying as the hands that held slipped away, fathers groaning as they are pushed inwards by eager wives and old ladies win as they clear a path with undue vigour!

I had to step back a bit and around the madness! I did not want to get drawn into this melee before I was equipped for battle and before I was sure that I would come back out in one piece! This was war! The first thing that I needed to know was what was in that basket and why was it so popular today? I decided that an assistant might be able to give me the knowledge and so I looked around for one. Unfortunately, the only one that I could see was stuck right at the center of the crowd, probably in the wrong place at the wrong time, poor girl! There was only one thing for it, I had to join the crowd to appease my now extreme curiosity!

I walked a complete circle around the group looking for a gap, a chink in the armor, a starting point or weak point but there was none. So I just started in, sideways and gently at first but that did not work and after five minutes of gentle persuasion I found myself back on the outside as others with more skill worked through, shoving me out of the way and back to the starting point. This was not for the light-hearted!

Squeezed out I could see others having suffered the same fate. One mother, ejected forcibly had tripped over some other desperadoes shoes and had fallen into a large display of colorful saucepans. Down the display fell, all over the floors and aisles, down they came one after the other with a loud clatter, bouncing around the feet to be kicked aside in the rush. An assistant materialized and somehow in quick order gathered these pans up and shoved them into a large drawer under the display - these where not needed, these were the full price items and who wants them? The girl who had fallen had already re-entered the crowd with renewed vigor and anger and was now lost to sight.

I started in again determined not to be outdone and far more aggressive in my approach! I being tall and quite powerful used this to my advantage and by hard to see shoulder movements and quick thrusts of the hips down under I forged a path through the throng, leaving behind a few bruised and battered yet undaunted patrons in my wake. I arrived in a slight sweat and with a case of nerves should I be attacked by angry receivers of my determination but it seemed I was only doing what every other bargain hunter did - so I forgot about that.

I concentrated on the sight before my eyes. I had arrived at the attraction in the basket: I had reached the object of my desire! And in the basket was ........

Woks!

Yes, Woks!

Woks everywhere and of all shapes and sizes!

A Wok is a large saucepan used for making stir-fries or for frying large items. A saucepan with no lid and with a curved bottom! So, small, medium or large? Handle or no handle? Or a wok with two handles?.

Yes! Woks!

I was a bit stunned, as this was not what I had imagined would be there! But Woks it was and seeing as how I had spent so long and so much energy to get there the only sensible thing to do was to buy one, needed or not. I tried to pick a smallish one, it had two handles and I thought that it would be semi-useful if my current one broke (not much hope of that) before realizing that it was stuck in the pile. I pulled a bit harder and was about to get both hands onto its retrieval only to receive a sharp and somewhat painful jab in my stomach.

As I bent over in sudden pain I saw a pink umbrella being withdrawn from across the basket of woks but that was all that I saw. When at last I managed to straighten myself up and wipe the tears from my eyes I had been shifted from the area and was being pushed away and out. I had momentarily become weak and those stronger used this weakness to gain their own foothold!

I managed as I was being squeezed away to turn my head back and gain a last look at the basket of woks only to see that the item that I had taken a fancy to was tightly gripped and moving upwards and away by some unseen hand. I was thrown out and there was no way in the world that I could re-enter. That was a fight for survival and having survived I had no wish to tempt fate a second time.

Recovered in body and in spirit I decided to look around the store to see if any other bargains where to be had. I was just stepping away from the crowd when I heard an announcement being made over the loud speaker. A complete silence had descended throughout the store, it was as if the terms of war were being read and a pin could have been heard if it was dropped.

There was graveyard like silence as the voice over the speaker said, "Children' Clothing is now on Special Offer at $4-00 per item and for the next three hours only".

Well, there I was listening along with everybody else and having accepted and assimilated the news was preparing to continue my wanderings around the kitchenware. Upon hearing the announcement others around me had a different reaction and before the announcer had finished her job a full blown stampede was in progress!

Mothers dragging children, wives tugging fathers, husbands being pushed along by wives and sons being battered along by grandmothers - the stampede formed and rapidly gained momentum. From all corners of the kitchenware section people materialized, all heading for the escalator in the center. Screams could be heard as the lucky arrived first and winged down to the children's wear section. The unlucky held on for dear life as the gathering crowd behind tried to push them downward and the even unluckier at the rear weighed taking the stairs or shoving harder.

And there I stood watching the rush ahead of me and with a depleted basket of woks at my side and nobody else around. Now which Wok did I want?

An assistant was casually removing the fallen pots and pans from the large drawer and was rearranging them on the display and there was not another soul in sight! I bought my cheap Wok and prepared to leave. John Little's was finished for me, I had no interest in Children's clothes, I had a wok that I didn't really want and enough bruises to last me a lifetime.

As I left the store a pink umbrella caught my eye! It was lying next to a chair, upon which sat a rather stout lady, who happened to have a wok with two handles on it in a bag next to her. So she was my assailant! I passed her with a glare at the ready (there was not much else that I could do for revenge) when I noticed that she had a rather large bruise on her cheek!

I sort of hung around and from her screams at some unfortunate assistant, it seemed that some little old lady had smacked her one with her handbag in the children's ware section.

My assailant had been smitten! I was happy.

I left John Littles with my prize, glad to be away but with a spring to my step! I spent the rest of the day around town eating and shopping wherever a sale was spotted! I passed by John Little's the next day whilst on my way to other ground and I could hear a familiar hum coming from within. The signs that read "Last day of Sale" continued to adorn every window and pillar and I laughed knowingly to myself - The Last Day Of Sale indeed!