Arriving in Yuzhno, Russia

As the plane landed, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was back in Russia. The tarmac was bumpy, the view from the plane window was bleak and everybody was busy wrapping scarfs, coats and jackets around themselves like the cold had already permeated the planes shell!

I had since leaving Singapore had some misgivings over my forgetfulness when checking in at Singapore airport but by the time we hit the tarmac in Yuzhno Sakhalinsk I was beating myself around the head! I am normally pretty good at organization, I mean today I had with me all that I required for a two day stint if I lost my luggage, even down to a toothpick should the evenings meal prove tough and the restaurant out of the little bits of wood! I had though forgotten, what might be regarded as one of the most important items apart from underpants, my coat, especially forgetful as that mornings forecast had stated a low of -11 degrees in Yuzhno! I had packed this essential item at the top of my suitcase, readily available for extraction when I checked in but I just plain forgot to do that!

As the plane landed with a bump on the cold tarmac, I wondered how my coat was feeling underneath me in the planes cargo hold and as all the other passengers around me wrapped up warmly, I tried to find that other T-shirt that I had packed in my hand luggage!

It was not as bad I thought it would be! I stepped out of the planes door, nearly slipped down the iced-up steps and plodded my way across the thirty-meter concrete slab to the terminal noting that the sun was shining, that it was indeed quite pleasant and that the guy next to me (who had remembered to bring his coat) was now taking it off again! In fact, by the time I was queuing up at the immigration post I was positively smirking as the impatient passengers waited with coats slung over arms in the long queues held up by the two deadly serious female immigration officers ahead!

My turn eventually came. I briefly looked at my 'stamper' and was pleased to note (not that it meant much) that she was the same official as the last time I had entered the country. I counted what looked like the same ants on the wall behind her, shuffled my feet in the melted snow around my feet, thanked my lucky stars for having forgotten my coat as it was positively boiling in the cramped hut, checked to see if she had gained an extra stripe on her extended shoulder boards and smiled generously at her when she stamped my passport with the same vigor as she had applied last time. I am of the assumption that the ants behind her head have been trying, for a very long time indeed, to get out of that hut but every time she stamps a passport, they all fall down and have to start the long journey again!

Having spent a long while shuffling feet I was glad to stretch my legs for a bit; not too much of course as the baggage hall does not allow for much freedom, but at least I could have a little walk! I walked for a little bit and then I had to stand still as some of the other 200 passengers started to trickle through from the stamping machine domain behind me! As the hall filled up it got warmer! As it got warmer, the more impatient people seemed to get!

I have always been of the opinion that cold weather makes people work harder, not only to get warm but so that the job may finish quicker and that they can get back to the warmth inside! Our baggage handlers of today though seemed to have frozen-up to the point of total inaction! It took them well over forty minutes to get the bags to the carousal, and another forty minutes to get them onto it! I have talked before about the anomaly of the size of the carousal, ten bags and it is full, but today nobody was willing to remove the bags, those whose bags were first on were still stuck at immigration it seemed! And so 150 passengers stared glumly at the revolving bags as the Russian baggage handlers settled themselves comfortably onto the remaining bags on the truck outside and smoked themselves silly!

It took a long time! I tried to ease things by shifting some bags off, but as I was the only one doing so I had this niggling thought that another passenger might accuse me of stealing their bags or that it might not in fact help the situation as I was now creating a wall around myself and some others, one that we would find quite hard to extricate ourselves from should we manage to get our own bags and want to leave.

My bags came out last; they were the last ones to be unloaded!

There is one final step to freedom; a large and buxom matron who checks the baggage receipts to luggage before passengers are allowed through to the fresh air outside! Unfortunately the exit door is only large enough for one person to pass through, a serious bottleneck even when everybody has the receipts to hand! Today though was not to be. One gentleman at the door was busy searching his pockets, his hand luggage, his suitcase and his hat for what must have been the luggage tags! Whilst he searched his persona a crowd built up around him. Not a queue or anything so simple, just a large and general squashing of humanity with each person intent on being the next one through the door once the unfortunate gentleman had located his ticket and moved on!

I got into a small argument with this Russian gentleman! He was sort of at about the same distance away from the target as I was and as we moved forward, we found ourselves being crushed against each other! One of us had to break eventually! He broke first and in a thick Russian accent said, "You go". For some reason I did not want to be outdone in this arena of wills and said, "No, no mate, this is your country, off you go"! He then decided to bring the sympathy track into his persuasions and stated, "No, this Russia, no queue, foreigner sorry go now".

I should have given up at this point but something spurred me onwards and I suggested again that as it was his country he should go first! He looked at me curiously, probably with a touch of wonderment and then proceeded to go first. He thus forged ahead, his wife followed not far behind with the ten or so family members whilst I stood there slightly upset at this unexpected turn of events! His family moved forwards and so did some extremely large and awkward boxes that resulted in an argument at the door as they simply would not fit through! I was obviously not prepared for this as before I had got back on track I found myself once again on the periphery and sadly (and for the first time in my life) I was the last passenger to leave the airport that day!

Not to worry; my agent was there to meet me! Or should I say that I found him asleep on a bench outside! I woke him up and off we toddled, he surprised that I had taken so long to get through and that I was not wearing a coat and I that at last I was in Russia and away from the airport at long last!

Wow, it's a tough country to get into but in all seriousness you do need a coat when arriving at Yuzhno International Airport! I was lucky; I had requested a seat at the front of the plane so that I would be one of the first ones off and into the terminal building. Those passengers though from rows 25 to 60 will find themselves shuffling snow on the tarmac outside as the queue snakes from the plane to the terminal building! The last passenger will spend at least 40 minutes waiting outside in the cold and should it be -20 degrees (with the possibility of an additional chill factor) a coat will be the difference between hypothermia and anger induced warmth!

Don't forget that coat and also bring a hat, some gloves and a book to read in the queue! Oh, and always get a seat at the front of the plane and never, ever allow somebody to get ahead of you in the queue, politeness is just not worth it here!

Ieuan Dolby
Author and Webmaster of SeaDolby.com
Copyright © Ieuan Dolby, 25th December 2006